Well, after various trials, I managed to hack and cobble together my entry for Machinima.com's christmas contest:
I had to cut the movie for time pretty severely(around a minute) after the music and sound was already done, so you'll probably notice some discontinuities- sorry bout that. I had to make the movie in sections because of constant crashes(the source footage for this movie was ginormous), and when I assembled it the pieces seem to have been much longer together than I'd expected. Think I dropped a zero in my math somewhere. In any event, expect an uncut version eventually.
Special thanks to every who helped, especially my voice actors, and to Moo for forcibly convincing me to enter- I'm very glad I did!